Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize