She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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