so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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