remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
