Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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