I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
