It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Randomize
