At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
