it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize