Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
