Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
