i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
