Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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