we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
