ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
