Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
