You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize