Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
