im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
