last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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