Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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