I got chris browned last night
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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