Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Where is the hickey?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
