I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
