Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize