Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
