Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I wear drunk well.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
