Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
