I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
