these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
