And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
