I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
