If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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