nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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