so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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