Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
