Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
