Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
