thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
