if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
