What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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