Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize