I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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