thus making me awesome and them whores
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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