can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
