why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
