Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
