i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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