Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
