my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
