Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
