Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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