Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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