i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
