I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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