He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
