are you still at the devil's house?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You dont lie about slip and slides
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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