Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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