420 ftw
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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