between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
