it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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