he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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