It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Randomize
