This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
