There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
