So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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