You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
