Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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