so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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